Annoying Trolls

As in, "how to," rather than "these people are" or "identifying characteristics of." (That would be a post series in itself.)

Short form: don't let them control the conversation.

Longer suggestions:

Stick to the subject. REFUSE to be drawn off. If the original subject is disposal of nuke waste, utterly refuse to chase off after alternative energy, middle east politics, Jimmy Carter's other actions, "you conservatives are suppose to hate France, now you want to copy them?", current politics, prior record of environmentalists, environmentalists in general or specific, etc.  Point out when they try to change the subject and (if fitting) restate or ask the question again.

Point out logical errors.  Appeal to emotion, personal attacks, appeal to authority, unsupported claim, misquotes, mischaracterizations-- if they're not making a rational, factually supported argument, point it out.  (Note: this means you have to make a rational, factually supported argument, of course.)

• sub-group: tone.  They will accuse you of being rude, uncharitable, mean, uncouth, bitter, a hater.  This happens pretty much no matter what; generally ignore it, although if it's an exceptionally outrageous claim you may wish to respond either politely or dryly.  Do not get angry/hot, although cold outrage is sometimes an option.

Do not let them define what is acceptable.  Pick a ground and stick to it-- and know why you think what you think before you start.  I favor well supported science for most subjects that aren't explicitly theological/philosophical, but that may have to do with the arguments I find myself in.

Point out consequences of what they admit.  Did they just say that 18 year olds should not be allowed to drive?  Point out that it's hard to live on your own if your entire class is not allowed to drive.  Did they just claim to be the ones who get to decide who is really human?  Point out that this is a step backwards, socially. (Do your research-- there are some very nice articles out there about tribal society, and I'm sure you can find a nice site explaining that most primitive peoples' word for their tribe translates as, basically, "the people.")

Use references.  HTML: love it, use it.  Remember, wikipedia is a search aid, not a source.

Do not let them push your buttons.  Eventually, they will realize you're not letting them guide the direction of conversation, and they will generally try to get you to restate something you already said several times.  Respond that you already answered that question, or that the answer hasn't changed, or-- depending on tone-- "scroll up."

Story-Sense

It's no wonder that the ancients believed all sorts of things had a spirit, from springs and creeks to manners in which folks act-- a lot of things make sense if you phrase them as a self-willed force, a story push, a non-person character.

Water wants to flow down hill.

Plants want to reach for the sun.

The Market (large groups of buyers and sellers making thousands of tiny, individual choices) is good at finding the cheapest way to do something.

Insert conspiracy theory about how there is 'some group' that manipulated this or that event:
What do you mean, nobody bothered to do anything about people from known terrorist areas that were learning to fly but not land?
What do you mean, banks thought it was better to give bad loans than deal with thousands of lawsuits because of demographics?
What do you mean, there's no specific rule about proving citizenship?
What do you mean, the unions and Democrats working together isn't planned?
What do you mean, an oil rig blowing up a week after Obama talks about environmental dangers, giving him a reason to shut down oil production, wasn't planned?
What do you mean, a beauty queen with a gorgeous husband, picture-perfect family, oldest son in the military and youngest child a testament to her pro-life convictions just happened to manage to become a governor?  Look at her, she couldn't be more perfect for appealing to right wingers if she was designed, so she must be designed!
 What do you mean, Europe didn't have some group plotting to destroy them?  They invited in huge numbers of violent, poorly educated, strongly idiological people whose culture is opposed to everything they stand for, and then stood back and let them take over areas.  No way would the same people who mandate pregnancy leave for husbands stand by while women in their own country are murdered for being raped, wearing clothing that hints at their form or refusing to marry their 50 year old five-times married first cousin when they're 14!
What do you mean, the UN isn't a plot to wipe out any local population stupid enough to trust them?  They come in, destroy any economic chance of building farms or industry, outlaw anything that might cut down on death from malaria and malnutrition, take peoples' weapons with a promise to protect them and then lock them outside when murderers come to kill them-- all while having horrifically monstrous nations on their various humanitarian panels.
What do you mean, title 9 isn't a plot to destroy civilization?  Women want husbands who are better than them-- look at all the myths of this or that princess who was the best at X, and then swears she'll marry no man who cannot beat her-- so we encourage women to achieve more (good), and then cut down boys and men so they can't be men, can't do the same as the women, and the only way to be "more" is to be a feckless playboy or thug; neither of those are any good for making a family, even if they work as sperm donors, so you end up with either a lot of angry, childless women and angry, childless men who have given up on even the notion of each other as a mate rather than a sex toy... and they both tend to look at those children who do manage to be born and grow up in spite of these changes, since they don't have the emotional bonds and maturity to be attracted to those of their own age; the most attractive are those from solid homes, since they are more likely to be healthy, happy and successful...and it starts again.



Maybe it's just that I've been focusing on story theory a lot of late, or that I haven't been getting much sleep, or it's just my English teacher's focus on detecting what story is being told crossed with trying to teach myself how to build an entire story.

No matter why it is, it struck me as interesting how well it works on an emotional level if you look at it as some sort of outside force, spirit, story-line....

*UPDATE*
This just showed up in my inbox:
Are we stupid abroad by accident or design?

Join The Tea Party!

The marTEAni and cocktail type tea party, in this case.

Not my horrible pun, it's The Spirit's, but I loved it enough I had to share.

If you're rolling your eyes, think of this as a natural development of the Hot Toddy-- the guy they interviewed for this mailing did!  (Yes, I'm on their email list.  I haven't had a drink in months, but it's so fun to read the recipes, and history and get ideas!  I'm still meaning to do a vodka/green tea infusion one of these days, might get my sister in law off of those hideous jaegerbombs.)

Quote:

As with any cocktail, balancing ingredients in a tea drink matters. Cason advises knowing your teas and spirits to enhance pairings. For instance, the bergamot oil in a good Earl Grey tea helps it play well with other citrus, such as Plymouth Gin (made with lemon peel), to create a winning cocktail. (He especially enjoys the combination in his Earl Grey MarTEAni.) Similarly, a spicy rum would complement a chai tea. As a general rule, the stronger the tea, the bolder the spirit it can balance.

Cason works with loose tea, adding it to simple syrups and bottles of spirits, and then straining it out. You can leave tea in simple syrups for a day or so to maximize flavor, but leaving tea in a spirit for more than 30-45 minutes releases tea’s tannins and bitter flavors, ruining the alcohol. Also, you don’t need expensive liquors for infusions, since the tea will overshadow delicate flavors.

I love the idea of knowing I'll have a party the next day, so I start making the simple syrup, put tea bags into bottles and pour the nearly boiling syrup over them to wait for the next day.  Probably green tea, Earl Grey, Lemon Zinger, Red Crush ("berry" flavored-- tastes like raspberry to me) and a double-strong standard Lipton black tea; I can see the "hard ice tea" being incredibly popular, and the very notion of Earl Grey and Gin sounds delightful to me.